i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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