i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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