I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
