I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
