is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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