Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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