having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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