his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
