And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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