The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
