If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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