gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
