tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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