Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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