why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
