so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
