Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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