I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
