I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I cut my penus on the lid.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
