Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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