Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
