is your mom at the bar?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
