He is an equal opportunity slut.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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