What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
