I can tuck mytits in my pants
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
