Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
