I'm so fucking centered right now
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
