so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
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We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
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Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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