For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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