i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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