Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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