this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
