im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
