I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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