I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize