Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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