all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
A+ Viking dick
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
