And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
