I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
