if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
