My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
