Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm both gender and math confused
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
