I wish I could teleport
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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