I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
