Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
