you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
