mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
