I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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