Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
