whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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