oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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