I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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