and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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