The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
