I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
