dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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