So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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