You can't motorboat a personality
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
