i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
