I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My vagina just recognized that song.
So many bounce houses so little time
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
