just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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