I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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