How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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