As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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