I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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